How to Create Boundaries When You Move Close to Your Aging Parents
Moving close to your aging parents is a great way to assist them when they need you most, especially if their health is beginning to decline. When you decide to move close to your aging parents, or move them closer to you, you will likely want to create and set boundaries in place to protect your peace and ability to work and provide for them each day. Knowing how to go about setting boundaries when you move close to your aging parents can help make the process much more seamless and enjoyable.
Consider Why You Are Moving
It is estimated that the average person living in the U.S. will move 11.4 times in their lives on average. When you are planning to move closer to your aging parents, it’s important to consider why you are doing so and your intentions once you are settled in. If you are moving closer to your parents to aid them with transportation, doctor’s appointments, or even to provide them with company regularly, it’s important to keep these motivators in mind while setting boundaries in place.
Discuss Living Options With Your Parents
If your parents are cognitively aware of their surroundings and are not currently experiencing mental decline, it’s important to discuss living options openly and honestly with your parents. Whether you plan to live independently or if you are thinking of moving in with them, it’s important to discuss ground rules and expectations in terms of routines and schedules ahead of time. Keep in mind that the average cost of a shared nursing home room in New Jersey, classified as semi-private, can cost upward of $11,000 each month.
Help Your Parents Create a Will or Estate Plan
It is estimated that only 32.9% of all Americans, or one in three residents, have a valid estate plan or will legally in place. When you want to help your parents as they age, you can do so by assisting them with the process of creating a will or estate plan.
Work With a Legal Mediator
Working with a legal mediator may be recommended if you are unable to discuss finances, moving plans, or even medical issues with your parents directly, due to relational or health troubles. A legal mediator may help streamline the process of setting boundaries in place if you intend to move closer to your aging parents to assist them but want to do so while respecting their wishes.
Set a Routine in Place
Always set a routine or schedule in place when you plan to move back with your aging parents or to the same city. Setting a routine or schedule in place will provide you with the ability to help your parents while allowing you to maintain a sense of independence as a grown adult, regardless of the surrounding circumstances. Being firm and upfront about your needs in terms of scheduling, work, transportation, and even your social life is essential when you are thinking of moving back in with your aging parents at any point or stage in your life.
Assist Your Parents With Resources
As your parents age, they are more likely to require help with resources, such as transportation, doctor’s appointments, and even keeping up with medication. Providing your parents with the resources they need to thrive will help them maintain their quality of life for years to come.
Creating boundaries when you are planning to move close to your aging parents is not only a way for you to maintain your peace of mind, but it will also encourage your parents to remain as independent as they can, regardless of their age. Having ongoing discussions regarding boundaries, schedules, and routines can help significantly anytime you are uprooting your life to move closer to your parents to care for them as they get older.